6.27.2011

the power of His name

when i was first diagnosed with epilepsy i had a battery of tests done.
i remember being dragged into different rooms in the wee hours of the night.
nurses and doctors coming in and out, explaining one procedure after the next.
one i will never forget though, was the spinal tap.

for some reason, the doctor had tried once or twice and it hadn't worked.
it may have even been a "doctor in training".
by that time, my mom had just about had enough.
actually she went into 'flip out' mode.
and if you knew my mom and doctors, you knew the best place to get was as far away as possible.
she went out into the hallway and demanded that the best "spinal tap" guy get in the room immediately.
within a minute that, in fact, happened.
they knew she meant business.
he was the sweetest man. i will never forget his face. as much as i forget of those weeks and those days.

the procedure started, but by this time, as you can imagine, i was in quite a frazzled state.
my mom was with me, holding my hand, calling to me.. as close as possible..
for some reason, the doctor couldn't get what he wanted to and i began to panic..
and i began to call out aloud, as my mom taught me ...  
His name, "Jesus. Jesus! Jesus! !!"

Just repeating and repeating His name
and with that a peace came over me,
the doctor finally got whatever he needed.
and the testing was done for the night.

The reason for the story today_
this afternoon I had a thyroid biopsy,
quite similar to the spinal tap actually,
but straight in the neck.
.three needles.
good stuff.

This experience came rushing back to me as i laid there on the table.
I was a mess of tears and laughter.
The doctor thought i was a lunatic.
most likely.
I have been listening to Stronger [from the previous post] recently.
the lyrics repeating in my head.

You are Stronger. 
You are Stronger.. .
You have saved me. 

and I couldn't stop thinking about how my mom is standing with Him. now.
which makes me overflow with joy .. .
but the fact that she wasn't "with me, holding my hand, calling to me.. as close as possible.. .."
well that's beyond. tough.

no more words. right now.

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