making room for change

the word CHANGE has been rolling around in my head lately.

i can't figure it out.

I am a stubborn girl. 

anyone who knows me. 

will tell you that. 

i won't hide it_ there's no trying to. 

so change IS tough.

i'm used to accepting bad changes that arise. 

wait.. . maybe not USED to them. .

more like recognizing how life is at any point ready to punch you in the gut with them

.. .[ bad to think like that, huh?] 

also a fan of the good - simple changes. 

a fresh new hair cut

finding a new recipe

meeting a new girlfriend you can talk to 

all the good changes seem so silly in comparison to the bad, when you type them out.

this past week, i snuck in to talk to my boss and tossed out an idea that may throw some more changes my way. 

potentially a big change, who knows? 

not sure i'm ready for it. 

maybe i'm just adding additional stress to my life. 

point is,
with change.. . if we never really know what our future holds and only know Whose hands our life is held in, then the "difficult" change shouldn't be so overwhelming right? 

.. so "knock the breath" right outta you.. .?

Source: artofecstasy.tumblr.com via Kimberly on Pinterest

RIGHT?
doesn't that seem to make sense?

it all just still spins around.. . and continues.

seems the word, CHANGE, is a stubborn one as well. 

four simple plus.es

i am trying my hardest to look forward to the .spring. 

many challenging things are headed my way. 

many things i did not see coming as i looked into the future.

it seems that's how it always is, right? 

never as planned. 

so i'm choosing to think about some simple positives to get me through 

one day at time. 

cause that's all i can ask for. 

.simple beauty of the spring flowers. 

choosing some flowers and plants for the stoop

check out the Photobotanicus series by photographer Barry Rosenthal 

i originally found this through the online Anthology Magazine. 

Beautiful work to get you excited about what will be appearing in the next few weeks. 

_a new bike_ 

Will be needing this to get around  

I'm loving these vintage.y. ones.

with a basket, of course?! 

.the discovery of Hillsong NYC. 
{which is a few years old now}

considering I live directly across from the train station
this is super.Grand

{twitter}

visiting the LIBRARY on a regular basis
{check out these coasters from HouseofSixCats}
created by Kate @Chicalookate

Source: etsy.com via Kimberly on Pinterest

in no particular order

i started a life list .. .
some call a "bucket list" but i absolutely LOATHE that name.
before i kick the bucket,
Really?

in honor of my birthday yesterday, there are thirty three listed below.
that's right, i'm now 33.
and my life list is growing
problem is i don't seem to be scratching off as quickly as i'm adding.
THIS is a dilemma.

i may have to quit my job.

1. see the aurora borealis 

2. own a horse

3. fall in love again. 

4. go kayaking

5. make a flower crewel collection

6. go to Alaska

7. Greece with Allison, just Allison

8. get an old typewriter and use it to type letters

9. drink bubble tea

10. learn how to knit and crochet again 

11. learn how to make homemade pasta - easily - regularly

12. go to an Ingrid concert with Alli

13. become a flea market regular

14. play the piano again... . have one in my house

15. buy a house. .. a bungalow

16. publish a piece of writing

17. successfully start a small business

18. my infamous chocolate cheesecake with raspberry sauce _ make it without recipe.. frequently 

19. start exercising.. .maybe yoga?

20. join a Co-op

21. open an etsy shop. 

22. adopt a dog

23. take a roadtrip .. .long roadtrip

24. go to Serendipity, NYC

25. tattoo two? 

26. learn how to install a chandelier

27. ... reupholster an antique chair 

28. learn Italian

29. practice Calligraphy

30. learn how to make my mom's sausage, meatballs, and braciole

31. visit the Grand Canyon again .. .

32. organize shoes with photos - polaroid

33. practice the lost art of taking baths.

before 11:59 pm today

The question .. .

by the end of the day, what would you wish to happen?

thoughts? .. . 

ok. i'll admit it.

this Totally, with a capital T, turns me on.
i wish i was cool enough to do something like this.
be a part of this ... . and i just don't mean donating money.
or going to my local farmer for organic produce.
i mean my occupation. 
what i turn the alarm clock off for in the morning.
it's a dream.
a hard.working. labor intensive. mind blowing. ... dream..
a dream that gets my insides all in a tizzy.
[sigh]




Head on over to Perennial Plate to donate money
by clicking HERE  .. . all other fun details can be found there as well.



The Perennial Plate Episode 52: Real Food Road Trip from Daniel Klein on Vimeo.

life. is short.

You'll be holding my hand.

These last couple of months have been so very hard. 
more than that. 
and it surely will not end here. 
i'm way too old, and grown to believe that. 
naivety is a thing of the past. 
unfortunately, i know all too well, that bad things come around all too often 
and knock you off your feet. 
the last couple of years, that is exactly what has happened.


i don't know what the future holds.
i have absolutely no idea what is coming next. 
.where i will be in a year. 
.who i will meet or not meet in the coming months. 
what i will be doing in the next few years. 


as i drove home, i heard this song, 
one of my favorites: 
one that i've prayed before: 
and will continue to pray every time i hear it. 
eyes shut. 
.tears running down my face.
hands not positioned @ ten and two.
.almost slamming into the car in front of me. 
it's hard to keep both hands on the wheel when all the lyrics resonate with you. 
like an eavesdropped conversation between you and God. 




Don’t know where to begin, it’s like my world’s caving in
And I try but I can’t control my fear
Where do I go from here?


Sometimes it’s so hard to pray when You feel so far away
But I am willing to go where You want me to
God, I trust You


There’s a raging sea right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise if You want them to
I will follow You, I will follow You
I will follow You


I will swim in the deep ‘cause You’ll be next to me
You’re in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
You’ll never out of reach


God You know where I’ve been, You were there with me then
You were faithful before, You’ll be faithful again
I’m holding Your hand


God Your love is enough, You will pull me through
I’m holding onto You
God Your love is enough, I will follow You
I will follow You

the essence

while doing some online research .. .. i stumbled upon a job offering @ Lamb's Chapel in Long Island.

http://www.lambschapel.net/

not quite the geographic area I was originally looking.
: turns out the pastor is from Michigan.

More like the possible region i'm in search for.
but i did uncover this.

watch it.
more than once.