You'll be holding my hand.

These last couple of months have been so very hard. 
more than that. 
and it surely will not end here. 
i'm way too old, and grown to believe that. 
naivety is a thing of the past. 
unfortunately, i know all too well, that bad things come around all too often 
and knock you off your feet. 
the last couple of years, that is exactly what has happened.


i don't know what the future holds.
i have absolutely no idea what is coming next. 
.where i will be in a year. 
.who i will meet or not meet in the coming months. 
what i will be doing in the next few years. 


as i drove home, i heard this song, 
one of my favorites: 
one that i've prayed before: 
and will continue to pray every time i hear it. 
eyes shut. 
.tears running down my face.
hands not positioned @ ten and two.
.almost slamming into the car in front of me. 
it's hard to keep both hands on the wheel when all the lyrics resonate with you. 
like an eavesdropped conversation between you and God. 




Don’t know where to begin, it’s like my world’s caving in
And I try but I can’t control my fear
Where do I go from here?


Sometimes it’s so hard to pray when You feel so far away
But I am willing to go where You want me to
God, I trust You


There’s a raging sea right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise if You want them to
I will follow You, I will follow You
I will follow You


I will swim in the deep ‘cause You’ll be next to me
You’re in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
You’ll never out of reach


God You know where I’ve been, You were there with me then
You were faithful before, You’ll be faithful again
I’m holding Your hand


God Your love is enough, You will pull me through
I’m holding onto You
God Your love is enough, I will follow You
I will follow You