the mirror

this past summer was one of the hardest summers i've had to endure.

.for many reasons

one of them being my job

there were some mornings i woke up to find my fists clenched.

unsure if i had slept that way.

i had horribly sad dreams at least once a week.

and counted down the days until i could be back home at my school in September.

i see my dad every Sunday like clockwork.

we go out to lunch.

he would ask what was going on with everything.

and i would tell him.

as always he would give me advice

and then follow up with

Do you think there is something you are getting out of this job experience?

and i would respond with all sincerity
No. 
Every time.

I could not see it.

With everything that has happened in my life .. . and I've had my share.

with all of it.

I can usually reflect after some time and find purpose, meaning in it.

I've always been able to find the silver in the dark thunderclouds.

i think that is my mom's doing.

but THIS time. 

i really could not.

about two weeks before camp ended,

i started listening to CrossPoint services online.

one of my favorite pastors - out of Tennessee. 

I've followed him for years now.

I started making my way through all the series on YouTube.

That became my favorite part of the day.

the drive to work - the drive home

This sermon in particular I must have listened to five or six times.

A lot from this series speaks of Jesus and his disciples. 

So I started to read over Matthew, Mark, Mark, Luke again. 

After Jesus has fed five thousand, walked on water. ..

the disciples are still asking to have things explained to them.

You still don't trust me after all you've seen me do?

"ARE YOU STILL SO DULL?"

Matthew 15:16

It's comical to imagine Jesus saying that to someone. 

even as I read that I chuckled a bit.

But a giant mirror appeared before me.

Why don't I still get it? 

.. after everything He's led me through.
Why am I still doubting that He has it all worked out?

 Why am I still so dull? 

This was another repeat all summer. 

There's so much that she says that hits home. 

He was just very kind in saying, 

"Hey, I've done some bigger things than this before."

It's September now and camp is long over. 

Other problems that plagued me are gone and new ones I'm sure are on the horizon. 

But now I can say without a doubt that there was a reason for the job experience.

Don't think it had anything to do with teaching experience or art techniques. 

I needed to see my reflection. 

take it nice and .Slow

i'm wishing i could use something like this in the next few months. 

but i will have to wait a bit until there is a real yard in my possession. 

                                                

                                                         from HamacArt

Loving. 

this new bag i snagged from Podolls. 

my body ..  . brain. wasn't made to go fast. 

i like it that way. 

nice and Slow. 

.these Three

can never remember how i stumble upon these songs

but now they continue to repeat 

and repeat

who can resist Ingrid?

and this new to me. Miia 

.Repeat

wednesday's agony

some red wine + this scene + a fresh coat of nail polish fixes a bad day .. . just a little.

five little monkeys and My Mom

i keep hitting repeat.
over.
and over
And Over.

i can't help but smile.

YouTubing my Big Sister

needed to upload this video to You.Tube so 

with new phones and computer crashes, i could be assured i would never lose track of it.

this makes my heart so happy. even if she is stuck in a box.

#itisnotthecriticwhocounts

when it comes to car commercials

these new Cadillac ones far surpass any McConaughey Lincolns. 

i've already watched this four times. 

.it's better than some sitcoms. 

Another connection.. .worth your watching. 

Side by Side: All of Us

i feel like

this 

.has been my life the last couple of days.

And Tess, Henry, Jayden and I have a bit more to go.. . 

gotta say i'm loving it. 

three happies

.i have more. But here are three from today.

  

.one

the art of backing into my garage has officially been mastered. 

now that i typed that, i will probably rip off one of my side mirrors

.two

Henry is visiting while his daddy surfs in warm waters.

Tess is utterly happy. 

This photo captures her momentary craze.

.three

First off, I thought Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez were one in the same. 

Now that I have that figured out. 

this song got me all up and excited. 

It was on my XM Preview while I was flipping back and forth in the car. 
.those youngins
they make some good "music"
sometimes

saturday snow days

1. today's country channel 881
2. dishwasher .. . washing machine running
3. food made for the next few days
4. puppy sleeping, fat cat in a ball
4. on the high from last night's . ..


 

Cutshall and Bieber Forever

this appeared on my Vine feed today.
Matt Cutshall is a hysterical person to follow.



have to say .. and i will Not be embarrassed.. . I forgot how much i liked this song. 





JB's a little boy.
this was before he turned into a maniac.




This awesome site was discovered when i tried to find locate Vine on my computer. 
silly, me.

VineMarket
looks like i found a new place to shop

happy woman in a rental car

my car is currently getting all prettied up after a Rt. 22 incident

where Driver A: known as Dufus collided into Driver B: known as innocent 36 year old teacher minding her own business. 

it took me 4 months to eventually get my act together and take the car in. 

Nonetheless, by Tuesday it will look brand.spanking new. 

i am currently driving around a Totoya Camry which has dangerous pick.up. 

my phone is not hooked into the Bluetooth obviously so i'm stuck listening to the radio. 

white people problems, yes.

Z.100 is what is on. 

haven't listened to that since i've was 25. 

i heard this and loved it. 

perfect song to start off the new year. 

it's been a solid start to the Year already.
Right off with the first day of 2015.

I am one happy woman. 

the First Chapter of 2015

[via: At The Picket Fence]

tangled with Tess

today, i picked up Tess.tula from the vet.

she went from here.. .

.to here

to finally here 

in under four minutes. 

this car montage reminded me of a great.  ..and i mean great, 

sarcasticly, classic video - i fell in love with a whole long time ago.

it's the reason i made my family see Tangled this summer over vacation. 

which they had already seen. .. and yes, it's Uhhh.Amazing.ly great too. 

Who doesn't like having fun in the car?

only losers

Big losers with turdy pants. 

Here's to a brand new HAPPY Year. 

There's a name for this

this commercial GIVES me PBA.

téa and me.

.i've always had a thing for Téa Leoni
i think it was ever since the Family Man.
a C+/B- contemporary version of A Christmas Carol with Nicholas Cage whom I'm not particularly a fan.

Recently, I discovered Madam Secretary.
I've watched all of the episodes via OnDemand within the last week.
i'm addicted.

It's nice having her back in my life.






and from Pandora. it's scary how well it knows me.

Erasing Life's Wrinkles

i can't tell you how many times i've read this book.
tonight's passage slapped me across the face. 
her books often do that. good pain. 

Cold Tangerines
Shauna Niequist
233.234

"For me, what God said when he made the world is a prayer: 
It is good. 

This world, it is good. 
The beauty of a perfect green apple is good. 
The first steps of a child are good. .. 
I have to remind myself that it is good. 
I have to create hope in my life, because there's something inside me that has radar for the bad parts of life. 
I walk into the kitchen and all I can see are crumbs on the counter, and I look in the mirror 
and don't even see my face, i just see all the potential wrinkles forming. 
I have a dark, worst-case scenario sensor, and it takes over. 
It's all true. 
There are crumbs on the counter. 
I am definitely getting wrinkles. 

I just don't want to live in only that reality. 
Because there is another reality. A better one. Hope and redemption and change are real, 
and they're happening all around me. 
So I choose to act out of that reality, because the other one makes life too hard, day after day. Life is painful, and we carry with us so much disappointment and heartbreak. 
But I'm fighting to save some space inside me where I can create hope. 
I can't live there in disappointment anymore. 
I've missed whole seasons of my life. I look back and all i remember is pain. ..

It's rebellious, in a way, to choose joy, to choose to dance, to choose to love your life. 
It's much easier and much more common to be miserable. But I choose to do what I can do to create hope, to celebrate life, and the act of celebrating connects me back to that life I love."

God made the ugly fruit too

a whole lot i like about this song 

the lyrics to this hymn i've always loved.
Let thy grace, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, 
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, 
O take and seal it for thy courts above.

but this version .. . 

there's some funky offbeat going on. 

i'm sure that's not how to technically - musically - describe it. 

but You know exactly what i'm talking about. 

i'm a fan of all things like that. 

.out of the ordinary

give me navy and black any day

stripes and polka dots.
even the cat scratches all over the edging of my wooden furniture i'm starting to be a fan of, Jayden's weathered it. 

regular - or what may seem like "perfection"  - is plain ole boring. 

i actually just stumbled upon this ad campaign when i turned on my computer now.
via NPR. [great homepage] 

i'll link it below and you can do your own research. 
all i'm going to say is it is Uhhhhh.amazing. 
No white bread - ho hum - walk the liner came up with that. 

Original, creative .. . offbeat thinking. 

[i want to know more] and [more]

raindrops and roses and Christmas cards from the mailman

these are a few of my favorite things
[you were singing that weren't you?] 


1. this Christmas card from my mailman!
Yes.. Brian apparently is his name.
this made me seriously happy
.Seriously

2. The Convos with my 2-year old WebSeries

I have been watching these for the past week or so.
Leaves me cackling.
Can't wait to show a few to my students.
ones without grown men in underwear though. no worries.










3. on repeat this week.

thank you, NPR

not going to say anything to ruin this for you. 

Missing? Found? .. . either way - boy, do i wish i had been on that boat. 

 

via NPR