my prayer

I'm here to meet with You
Come and meet with me
I'm here to find You
Reveal Yourself to me

As I wait, You make me strong
As I long, draw me to Your arms

As I stand and sing Your praise
You come, You come
And You fill this place
Won't You come
Won't You come and fill this place

Meet with Me. Lamont Hiebert


at Your Feet

Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy to offer your bodies as a living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God_ this is a spiritual act of worship.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is_ his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12.1-2


my fourth grade goals

I'm a list maker.
On any given day, if you look upon my desk at work, my dining room table or even Post-ited to my car dashboard, you will find a list of some sort.

.chores to be completed by the end of the day
.lyrics from songs
.appointments or meetings that need to scheduled, or remembered!
.things to toss in that red basket as I run in and out of CVS

Every September, I ask my students to create a brief list of goals for the year to come. What do they want to accomplish by June, and moreover_ how are they going to attain them?

It wasn't until this year that the thought occurred to me that I should be making my own list along with them. As educators, we are always told to be modeling the very behavior we are expecting of our students. So why not this _ right?
_ below is my list for the 09-10 year.

8 save money
8 write to my Bryan, my Compassion child
8 Read the Bible more
8 set my alarm earlier, get to work on time
8 be more patient with my mother, who I love endless amounts
8 make more friends
8 Show my students the unconditional love and tenderness that I have received from God
8 never stop praying.


Take Luck

Tonight was Back to School Night.
So teachers remained in their classrooms well beyond the students. The last of my parents had left at 8:40 pm. I pulled out of the parking lot at 8:45 or so. Drove through Madison, through the first light. Slowed down at the next, and waited under the bridge. As I pulled closer to the car in front of me, I noticed this.... And just laughed.
Then had the biggest smile on my face for about five minutes.
The truth is as much I have gone through waves of total sadness, and then madness over how you have acted or rather not acted [responded] _

Even a "drive-by" thought of you makes me smile.


Neatly Outside of the Box

There are two versions of my life: the real one - the day to day, minute by minute version. And the movie one. This one is played out in my mind - all the things I wish to happen - maybe - could've should've - if only had happened. The movie version isn't always all happy, but just like the thirty minute sitcoms, everything works itself out in the end. All the loose ends tied back up and neatly packed back in the box.

In my movie life, people don't leave - without saying real goodbyes. And if per chance, they do, they return days later realizing their folly, to sing a ballad outside the window. Or stand outside in the rain all day waiting with a boombox. They catch you at the very last second before you board the airplane. Or maybe set a date to meet you in six months on the very top floor of the Empire State Building. Even in death, these characters find a way to communicate, sending letters even after their final goodbye was said.

The two versions of my life came crashing in on me this past week - leaving me in complete despair. Ask anyone around me.

I have fallen for him, leaving me completely vulnerable. Especially at that key scene of goodbye - the one for which so many movies have set me up so wrongly. I wasn't expecting a ballad or a date to meet at the top of some tall building. All I wanted was to see him. But without the other character, I was left to play the scene alone. Feeling completely helpless, confused and heartbroken.

The daytime routine of the week was able to snap me somewhat back into reality. But another reality still rang true.
He was gone. He is gone.

As much as I daydream about the movie version of my life, nothing ever plays out the way you think it will. This week certainly proved that to be true. No matter how much we try to fit everything neatly in a box, there will always be ties hanging over, edges popping back out. The truth is - there was a reason why you opened the box in the first place.