the mirror

this past summer was one of the hardest summers i've had to endure.

.for many reasons

one of them being my job

there were some mornings i woke up to find my fists clenched.

unsure if i had slept that way.

i had horribly sad dreams at least once a week.

and counted down the days until i could be back home at my school in September.

i see my dad every Sunday like clockwork.

we go out to lunch.

he would ask what was going on with everything.

and i would tell him.

as always he would give me advice

and then follow up with

Do you think there is something you are getting out of this job experience?

and i would respond with all sincerity
No. 
Every time.

I could not see it.

With everything that has happened in my life .. . and I've had my share.

with all of it.

I can usually reflect after some time and find purpose, meaning in it.

I've always been able to find the silver in the dark thunderclouds.

i think that is my mom's doing.

but THIS time. 

i really could not.

about two weeks before camp ended,

i started listening to CrossPoint services online.

one of my favorite pastors - out of Tennessee. 

I've followed him for years now.

I started making my way through all the series on YouTube.

That became my favorite part of the day.

the drive to work - the drive home

This sermon in particular I must have listened to five or six times.

A lot from this series speaks of Jesus and his disciples. 

So I started to read over Matthew, Mark, Mark, Luke again. 

After Jesus has fed five thousand, walked on water. ..

the disciples are still asking to have things explained to them.

You still don't trust me after all you've seen me do?

"ARE YOU STILL SO DULL?"

Matthew 15:16

It's comical to imagine Jesus saying that to someone. 

even as I read that I chuckled a bit.

But a giant mirror appeared before me.

Why don't I still get it? 

.. after everything He's led me through.
Why am I still doubting that He has it all worked out?

 Why am I still so dull? 

This was another repeat all summer. 

There's so much that she says that hits home. 

He was just very kind in saying, 

"Hey, I've done some bigger things than this before."

It's September now and camp is long over. 

Other problems that plagued me are gone and new ones I'm sure are on the horizon. 

But now I can say without a doubt that there was a reason for the job experience.

Don't think it had anything to do with teaching experience or art techniques. 

I needed to see my reflection. 

#itisnotthecriticwhocounts

when it comes to car commercials

these new Cadillac ones far surpass any McConaughey Lincolns. 

i've already watched this four times. 

.it's better than some sitcoms. 

Another connection.. .worth your watching. 

raindrops and roses and Christmas cards from the mailman

these are a few of my favorite things
[you were singing that weren't you?] 


1. this Christmas card from my mailman!
Yes.. Brian apparently is his name.
this made me seriously happy
.Seriously

2. The Convos with my 2-year old WebSeries

I have been watching these for the past week or so.
Leaves me cackling.
Can't wait to show a few to my students.
ones without grown men in underwear though. no worries.










3. on repeat this week.

Just Dancin', that's all.

i could have watched them do this all morning.
but it was only a five minute brain break

absolutely. ..Precious. 

they've got my heart, indeed.

nope - not you, One Direction.

hot water happiness

i may not have hot water for the fifth time this month  .. but i'm still a happy girl. 


here are five simple reasons. 

1. today a sizeable box waited for me patiently on my doorstep. 
Full of BOOKS. Read.Alouds.. . writing books and of course, books about food -  glorious food. 


2. this month, i got a lot of sister.. . family. time. 
Surprise 70th for my dad and then a family wedding this past weekend in Ohio. 




in the city @Eataly..  pure food heaven
.all senses come alive when you step through the doors

Could Aidan, my nephew be any cuter? 

Writing his well wishes to the bride and groom.

i love him to bits, pieces.. . little dustlets.

3.   my hair hitting my collarbone. 
      year after year.
      cut it, grow it, cut it, dark, light, dark.. . back and forth.  
      my hairdresser won't be seeing me any time soon. 
      i'm enjoying this growing season.

4.  this sound 

     these words. 

You were waiting at the door. 

I let you in. 

1.2.. Wait for it.. .3

my chalkboard Calendar at school makes me one happy teacher. 

can't say i used my own chalk. 

i have a special teacher friend who lends me such cool supplies. 

but how pretty, huh? 

can't wait to change it up each month. 

UPDATE
LOOK CAREFULLY AT THIS PHOTO 
*my aide ever so sweetly informed me on the second day of school 
that the first day wasn't JULY 4th* 
Back to School teacher brain is BaAad! 

this made me laugh so hard today.

it's the "i'll be back" chuckle, 

arm on the table.. . part that really makes me cackle.  

these homemades were inspired by this beaut, my sister. 

Find her at The Last Bite.

just salt, pepper, olive oil.. . a quick trip in the oven and you have  -- - 

.THIS. 

[the .Crunch will keep looping and looping til you stop it:]

today's happy

one. 

Shadow art on the the road. 

There are times I find it so beautifully distracting. 

I would be lying if I said none of these were taken while i was SLOWLY driving.

Now, you will never NOT be able to see it there below you on the street - like endless museum walls all over backroads and throughout town. Click through these photos to see what art the sun tossed down today.

two.
I continue to discover Bethel Music songs that I'm replaying over and over. .. and over again. 






three. 
stepped BACK in my classroom today for the first time this summer.
stacks of boxes were waiting for me  
.. Room 11 is ready to be full of little voices and feets. 
i'm a little giddy inside. 

Lilies is pinning: volume two

Figured I would start back up with a simple Pinterest post. 

Here are a few things i've been loving recently.


.knitting and cross.stitch
.breaking my camera back out again in full force. 
.cooking and yes.. finally, baking - the kitchen is feeling Used.  
.trying out some new make.up tricks.. .wingtip eyeliner and new products.
.Back to School projects make this teacher Smile. 
.craftiness with canvases, paint and stenciling. 


I bought this a bit ago from wit & whistle and finally hung it.
i've been busy making quite a lot - some sucky, some not so bad, some possibly good. 
All of it, i've .Loved working on. 

photo [whit & whistle]

She would have smiled .Big

I have five or six drafted posts rolling around in my head.

Among the millions .. .thousands..  ok FINE .  hundreds of things I do during the day,
I find that I am "writing" while I'm driving or in the shower.
When it comes to actually publishing though, many times it never comes to fruition until weeks later. 

i need to get a handle on this somehow.

nonetheless, long story short. 

short story long ___
let me get to the point

"lessons from the day"
"happiness"
"day to day"

these are three tags that often come up for my posts. ..

today when I watched this video of my dad and i from a few weeks ago, i was thinking how my mom would definitely be tagging it similarly.
"things that made me smile"

my dad and i had an impromptu photo.shoot out in the front yard of all the flowers my mom had planted years and years ago.
my favorites of course, you will recognize from a few posts back.

the best part, of course, is my dad laughing.
these are the best moments, hearing him like that.

she is indeed smiling.
i can feel it.

keep focused on chocolate

two things have been in focus in my life recently

:the creation of several behavior modification charts 

:and justin's hazelnut butter.

if i could use a spoonful of justin's as a reward [yes _ i said REWARD], 

i'm pretty sure, i could eliminate ANY SORT of behavior chart. 

wouldn't life just be simpler?

one spoonful for the kid, one for me.. . 

done. and doner.

real world 7H

clearly, she knows the dishes are the LAST thing i should be doing.

.this has become a weekly Saturday event.

it made me laugh the first time, the fifth time, and guaranteed it will the fiftieth time

[without fail, the bone will always make its way into the dishwasher. no photos on this blog are staged ;]

this on the other hand, is a daily event 

.and it does occasionally get old.

especially on Mondays, when I can barely get my lazy ass out of bed 

and she falls back on me

notice her deep sigh at 0:40 when she realizes she has been successful 

in crawling all the way up on my chest. 

what a baby.. . but i love her even the more for it.

KINDLY ignore the trashy apartment behind Tess. 
the OTHER side of my bedroom is painted and decorated nicely. 
No.. . I'm not Joking. 
Photos to be posted soon. 

Staples says to.. .

i went to Staples today to pick up a few things.
walked up and down the aisles
.more than i needed to.
just forcing myself to move
.legs one in front of the other.
exhausted
altogether.. .

stumbled upon this.
.just stared at it.
for at least a minute.
thinking.

kinda feels like i just stick this straight on my forehead.

repeat after me

He laughed for at least five full minutes.
had to leave the classroom to try to catch his breath
.. . and then started up again when he got back.

all because i had him repeat after me "big to small or small to big?"
.we were converting measurements.
afterschool practice work.
whatever it was that led to the perpetual giggles.
belly elementary school laughing.
the kind that you can't stop no matter what.

i was transported elsewhere.
away from anything else.
and for a glimmer. a mere glimmer.
i felt not a single weight or real worry.
and remembered what that was like.

a fresh breath.
and then it was gone.



.the favorite part of my day

two things i found and loved today

Number One

Yes.. . i am a lover of all things Downton Abbey. 

{like I am sure many of you}

especially Violet, the Dowager Countess of Grantham

played by Maggie Smith

[source]

Number Two

this Caedmon's Call cd was all i listened to for a time in college. 

My CD player stumbled upon it today. 

Quite purposefully as things happen.

how ironic that my blog title circles around the same theme as some of the lyrics

[cause if the birds and the flowers survive, then i'll make it ok] 

This song Table for Two. and this line is of my favorites.

"that i've forgot what House I live in"

1:55

cassette tapes of my life

ever since i've been in junior school, i've been obsessed with .soundtracks. 

i probably have 100 cassette tapes in large tupperware containers in dusty bins at my parents' house. 

playing them would surely rewind and drop me to a simpler place and time 

.to that naive little girl. 

i think in many ways, i am a bigger version of her today 

for better or worse. 

and my love of soundtracks remains. 

I often hear soundtracks playing in my mind,  as i go about my day. 

i'm not sure if this is 'normal' _ but i'm ok with that. 

the songs vary from day to day. 

i heard this one today. 

this song feels like one that belongs on daily repeat.  

.made it to the coastline. 

take notice

three things that caught my attention today

ONE! 

this magnet on my refrigerator

there are tons of things on there _so for anything to catch my eye is pretty impressive these days.

.this seemed to grab me by the collar as i walked by though. 

TWO!
these lyrics sound all too familiar. ..

One step forward, two steps back

so funny I forgot to laugh

[more lyrics]

THREE!

covering the hill on the front lawn. .. 

they will be there for just a few days surely 

but that will make me happy enough

.and this extra from last night. 

[could they be any cuter?]

two pins

a little nail polish does go a long way.

Source: google.com via Kimberly on Pinterest

creating new outfits after shopping in your closet

Source: thegirlsoflincolnpark.tumblr.com via Kimberly on Pinterest

enjoyed on this. day

{1 - one bag in a tall glass of ice cold water. just a hint of taste. perfection} {2} {3} {4}

simple happiness today

****

using Pinterest to actually create 

.. . craft .. be productive. 

i made these with my nieces out in michigan a few weeks ago.

this is what actual the pin looked like 

{i'm liking my niece's work ABOVE better.. but i'm a bit biased}

Source: tonyastaab.com via Kimberly on Pinterest

a .board of activities. are pinned for the spring and summer

there's not much yet.

but it will fill up quickly just like the rest.

i have a mind's eye list a few pages long

***

Majestic No.5 Trash Receptacle

one of my favorite things in my apartment 

.although i never use it. 

an old garbage receptacle that allows pick.up outside. 

they still pick up my garbage 

[i'm indeed a lucky gal] .. 

but my bags are always too big to fit in this tiny wall can. 

i use the window to dump the goods. 

my dad seems to think someone is going to crawl in it one day. 

he would love to nail wooden boards over it. 

that would just ruin all its charm though

who would be able to fit through there? 

****

ThiS little girl.. 

waggin' her tail at the front door. 

.in my bedroom. 

.in the kitchen. 

.in the laundry room. 

she's one happy girl. 

who LOVEs her mama

because i know .that You love me

I was standing at my refrigerator staring at these two things. 

The second received most of my attention, much to the chagrin of my dog, Tess. 

Look at those sad eyes. 

My important [i knew that the day of]
left.over. scribbled. saved.notes. were
left intact on the door staring back at me. 

.DWELL. 

PSALM 91:14-16

then back up to the top one....  

"faithful in prayer"

i quickly found my purse for my bible, turning to the outlined verses. 

.noticing it already marked. 

[14]"BECAUSE HE LOVES ME," SAYS THE LORD, 

"I WILL RESCUE HIM;

I WILL PROTECT HIM, FOR HE ACKNOWLEDGES MY NAME. 

[15] HE WILL CALL UPON ME, AND I WILL ANSWER HIM; 

I WILL BE WITH HIM IN TROUBLE. I WILL DELIVER HIM AND HONOR HIM. 
[16] WITH LONG LIFE I WILL SATISFY HIM AND SHOW HIM MY SALVATION."

[9] IF YOU MAKE THE MOST HIGH YOUR DWELLING _ EVEN THE LORD, 
WHO IS MY REFUGE _ [10] THEN NO HARM WILL BEFALL YOU, NO DISASTER WILL COME NEAR YOUR TENT. 
[11] FOR HE WILL COMMAND HIS ANGELS CONCERNING YOU TO GUARD YOU IN ALL YOUR WAYS.